Learning to Love

What have you wanted so much that you were willing to make significant personal sacrifices to make it happen? What goals have you had that you were willing to invest many hours of time in order to achieve them?  Perhaps you have wanted to be really good at a sport; maybe you’ve wanted to learn how to play a musical instrument well; maybe you’ve learned how to dance? Or perhaps you’ve worked on your body? Maybe you’ve wanted to lose some weight, or gain some weight, lower your cholesterol, or get a six-pack (from muscles in your abdomen).


Most of us realize significant achievements require time, effort, and sacrifice. Those who do exceptionally well are often willing to make extraordinary sacrifices to achieve their goals. They have followed specific diets, they have disciplined their bodies with exercise regimens, they have gone to band or sports camps. They have practiced, even when they really didn’t want to. They have pushed themselves to try, even when they didn’t feel well. They have joined health clubs – and actually used their memberships!

If you have been willing to devote yourself with consistency to achieving any goals like this, you have found the paradox of freedom. This is the truth that the path to freedom is discovered through the exercise of discipline. When we choose to limit ourselves, we find ourselves experiencing what we’ve wanted all along. Love is also like this. When we choose to place boundaries and limits on love, we experience deeper intimacy.

A great example of this are those who are committed to honoring their vows by riding out the highs and lows of their marriage. I visited a couple in our congregation this week who have been married 62 years. In a sense, they have been bound to one another for almost their entire adult lives. Yet the intimacy and the freedom that they have experienced in the relationship has been more than worth the sacrifices they’ve made for one another.

If we want to experience deeper intimacy in our relationship with the Lord, perhaps the best way is by being disciplined.  By pursuing the disciplines of the Christian life that will allow us to say "No" to me as I say "Yes" to the Lord.  The more I live by the axiom, "He must increase, I must decrease," the more I will discover deeper intimacy in my relationship with my heavenly Father.